一切都该重新开始了~

 擬清所有的事情后，我发现“他”不过是我崇拜的对象。
 而他，才是我始终喜欢的人。
 可是，当所有事情擬清后，我却发现原来在自己并没有想象中的勇敢。
原来，我一直都是不勇敢的。
原来我是那种有口说别人没口说自己的人。

我崇拜爱情，向往爱情，期待爱情。
我期待爱情的到来。
我想要谈一场轰轰烈烈的恋情。
我想要一场他只爱我，我只爱他；一场永不分手的恋情。
我只想这样。
我害怕他不喜欢我。
我害怕他不爱我。
我害怕他会拒绝我。
我更害怕我们的关系会从此变糟。
我不想要这样。

他们在交往时，我总期待他们分手。
他们分手了，我的心就像是停止了。
没有跳动。
原来我有那么的喜欢他。
原来我会担心，他们分手了，是因为什么原因？
我想要知道他好不好 。
我想要知道，他是否还是不能接受我。
他是否还会推开我？
我不要被他推开，他那毫不留情的一推，会使我伤痕累累，像跌进了深深的谷底，不能翻身。

既然有人想要帮我，我自然希望他能成功。
我希望可以跟你有一段那以忘怀的回忆。
那回忆不一定要是开心的。
就算是伤心的，我也想要有跟你更多共同的回忆。
我希望以后，你的记忆中能有我。
我不希望你忘记我。
我也不希望我会忘了你。

在我决定默默地守护你之前，可以让我和你有独处的机会吗？
我有话，想要单独和你说。
我想要告诉他：我会放弃，但在那之前，我想要跟你有个难忘的回忆。
我并不希望，我们如此结束的。

LOVE D:

i'm backkkkk:)
story continues...
i know it's impossible to be with you.but at least i'll try.
i've tried my best to talk to you.
we've met in scul so many times.
don't you have any impression when i passed by you?
i've create so many opportunity just to meet you.
why don't you recognize me?!
it's a sad case.
we often chat online also.
we only chat few times.
i want moreeeeee :)
we've chat a long time that day.
i'm so happy.
but why you often on your fb?
you didn't follow me on twitter.
i can't get through you.
i want to chat with you through twitter.
i want to dm with you.
one day,i saw you updated your twitter.
you said:'i think i'm starting to annoy you.better stop.'
are you trying to tell me that?
are you trying to tell me you're annoying me now?
i now i'm disturbing you these days.
but you ain't replying me and not talking to me.
you don't even recognize me in scul.
i always passed by you.
because of you,i always ponteng class just to see you.
and do you know  it's kinda find you.
you're the one who always not in the class.
i need to find you hardly to get you.
and now,are you trying to challenge me?!
you're not talking to me for a long time.
and just now,there's a girl.she said hi to you.
and you two just get to know each other so fast?
what about me?
why can't we just be like you and her?
i hate it when i fall in love to someone that flirt and many girls beside him.
i really hate it.
but i just can't control myself.
i always try to find someone who loves me veryy muchhh.
why can't someone just be like that?
 i'm the one who always put efford on it.
but why can't i just get somethings from it?
LOVE,why are you the one who always hurting me?
it really hurt D:

XX as my new target xpp but it's impossible

I've already give up you.of course.
it's been a long time.
you've betrayed me and fall in love with my best friend.
what kind of guys is this?
am i the one who are wrong?
cause i've choosen you.
but since i've give up you long time ago,i've a new target.
and it's Brian Ho.
OMG!he's damn handsome weih!!
he's a mixed(but not sure what mix with what><).
but he's form 4,so its can see cannot eat.
we don't even know each other at all.
i know him because of zying was introducing the guys to me and i was just concentrating looking at him.
dang it!
he's really very very handsome and cutie!!
i know it's not kind of suitable to use the word cute to describe a guy,but he's really very cutie><
because of now our scul is having a sports day,
every people who took part need to practise then only i mange to see him.
he's in rumah biru.
i'm rumah kuning.
it's kinda difficult to find him,although he is sharp enough xpp
I was too lazy to post up the geo and sej folio.
cause all of them i've done and pass up.
so if want to post up,i need to do one more time.
i'm damn seleepy right now.
no mood to write anymore.
just got to go.

Sharing my twiiter and fb account^^

我来了^^ 我打算公开我的facebook和twitter的户口了。
Facebook：http://www.facebook.com/rilakumma.jc
Twitter：https://twitter.com/#!/IcolaJc
欢迎大家来add和follow我哟><
由于twitter户口是刚开的，所以不多人follow。
就请大家多多帮忙咯！
最近的我也不知怎么的，总觉得我没想以前那么喜欢他了。
是时候放弃了吗？
既然是时候了，那么就放弃吧：）
不要让自己痛苦，也不要让爱你的人痛苦 :D

Jc

These days i fall in luv with another JC:3
He is a youtube singer and he sings so well~
I knew him from you,every english songs i learned is because of you.
I fall in luv with English is also because of you.
Since last year,i'm interested in english songs.
You luv to hear english songs,especially cover songs.
I knew Megan Nicole because of XX,
I knew JC because of you.
I knew these ppl because you and of course your frens.
You weren't bad to me.
Sometimes you've even too good to me...
You make me no choices...
What sholud i do without you.
What should i do even when i'm with you.
We went together because of XX.
I want to go out with you,only you and me.
When will it be?
Or just forever there's no chances?
You posted those stuff.
You said you were waiting for another miracle to happen again.
Why can't its just me?
I know i'm not good as others.
But its been so long,can't u just look ahead?
What do you want?
OR should i say what do i  actually want...
I wish to be with you :)
I wish you were here,for me.
I wish one day,you would be mine.
I wish you could fall in luv with me,one day :3
Since the day i know you,everything i done in my life,
Is because of you:3

说实话，我累了。。。

其实最近也没什么好说的了。。。
就是，累了，也厌倦了。。。
我总是那个，在后面追着你跑的人。。。
也总是那个，自动去找你的人。。。
更总是那个，厌倦了的人。。。
为什么我是那个总在付出的人？
就只因为我先喜欢你吗？
还是因为我是暗恋你的人，而你从来没有喜欢过我？
或是因为你先我胖，嫌我丑？
为什么总是我先喜欢上人家？
为什么不是你先喜欢上我？
为什么你不会先喜欢上我？
我也想试着有那种先被人家爱上的感觉～
那种感觉，是美好的吗？
如果是你，你会怎么做？
我真的累了，倦了，也厌倦了这种只有我追着你跑的感觉。
我好想就这样放下，但我却办不到。
我试过了很多次，想着把你放下。
但是，那种心如刀割的感觉。。。你能体会吗？
你对我说过的话，做过的事，一幕幕地出现在我脑海里。
你随意的一句话，就能让我开怀大笑。
你随意的一个动作，就算再小的动作，也会被我看得一清二楚。
你随意的逗弄我，就能轻而易举地弄得我满脸通红。
到底要怎样，你才会变得和我一样，仔细地注视着我的每个动作？

我和你约定过，你有没有记得？
你不知道，我有多想在我赢了之后，对你说：‘做我的男朋友’
但是，我又担心，如果你拒绝，我们还能是朋友吗？
你到底知不知道，我有多爱你？
或许你不知道，因为连我自己也没发现。。。
原来我早在不知不觉中，
已经喜欢你，喜欢的这么深～好似再也走不出来似的。。。

如果这个世界上，
如果有如果，我想听你说‘我爱你’<3

恢复了！我们恢复了！

上个星期。。。
因为我的任性，我们吵架了。。。
因为我那天很闷，没有人要陪我。。。
结果我就想说让他陪我玩玩好了^^
结果，他不肯。
那就算了！
之后， 我总算找到人陪我玩了，
他又跑过来说要玩！
什么意思嘛！！
我们就是因为这件事情，连续3天没有说话）：
还好他终于肯在星期五那天重新和我说话，
不然的话，我就要带着这个遗憾度过我的周末了。。。
而且那天。。。是他重新和我说过话的哟><
真的是太开心了！
不只这样，我们那天还玩了几场poker speed o><
真的是太爽了！！^^
我真的好希望我们的关系就这样下去。。。
他永远都不要提出改变我们关系的要求，
我也永远不要提出在一起的要求。。。
至少，好朋友能走得比恋人更远吧。。。

也不知道最近是怎样？！
我的朋友总是在我的身边唱着很伤心的歌。。。
就是那些很伤心，很有现在的感觉的歌。。。
郁可唯的好朋友只是朋友，等等的呀。。。
听的我伤心死了！
可是我又偏偏爱上了这些歌，太错了><
但是刚刚又被我的朋友说中了！
的却，现在的我，跟他都不知道到了‘好朋友’了没。。。
怎样继续呀。。。